


Quiet but not without Reason

by samstoleaburger



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Abrupt Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Other: See Story Notes, POV Raleigh Becket, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selectively Mute Chuck Hansen, Sorry Not Sorry, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 19:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samstoleaburger/pseuds/samstoleaburger
Summary: “You could ask him about a Jaeger or Max and he can talk until he's blue in the face. Ask him how he's doing or anything that is considered ‘small talk,’ you won't get much.”“Huh.”





	Quiet but not without Reason

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this back in April and I have no idea where I was going with it. Alongside the fact that I can't think of anyway to continue/finish this... _but_ I do remember the thought I had while starting this. Which was basically along the lines of Chuck being mostly quiet and selective in when and where he speaks. Like it causes him to have a different form of confrontation versus what he does in the movie. *shrugs* It was weird but we all get ideas and change a character's behaviour, physical condition and/or mental state all the time, right?

During the flight over to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, Raleigh had been trying not to succumb to memories of the past. Desperately trying not to think back on all the other Mark 3 pilots both he and Yancy dropped with. How no one else could take control of the last remaining Jaeger from that time. Not when the newer models were faster, stronger, slightly more resilient than those prior to.  
  
He thought back on the news story of the attempted assault on Australia before Striker was sent out to dispose of the Kaiju. How the announcer sounded terrified yet at the same time relieved when the threat had been taken care of. The fact that people saw and heard firsthand that the Wall of Life project was nothing but a sham. A false promise of safety and security.  
  
When he'd decided to go with the Marshal (or, in truth, expected to fall back in line), Raleigh wondered if, perhaps, he should've left Anchorage in favor of slightly greener pastures. He'd been out of the game too long but hadn't been ignorant to the changes in the war. How Jaegers started falling, one by one, and that the Kaiju were only getting tougher. The only ones that he knew of that were still operational was Cherno Alpha, Crimson Typhoon and Striker Eureka. However, that was more or less news coverage but Stacker had explicitly informed him of the fact that this was their last stand.  
  
He didn't know if he'd have it in him to jockey again. Copilot or not. Five years was a long time to stay out of a con-pod and it's not like getting back on a bike.  
  
Raleigh jerked himself out of his thoughts as the helicopter landed and stepped out behind Stacker. He glanced around the docking station, watching as people jogged to their destinations and eventually looked right at the dome. It was in rough shape on the outside and he had a feeling the inside wouldn't be any better, what with packing all the people they can inside. There were still shipment boxes by the doors leading inside and Raleigh felt an odd sense of belonging.  
  
Like he was coming back to where he should be instead of staying as far away as possible, Yancy's ghost haunting his thoughts and Knife Head's claws and teeth nipping at his heels.  
  
Raleigh stopped walking once the Marshal motioned toward the young woman standing across from him, the umbrella she was holding tipping back to reveal her face. “Mr. Becket, this is Miss Mori.”  
  
He offered up a roguish smile as she spoke to Stacker in her native tongue, completely unaware that Raleigh could understand. Though, he had to admit, he was a little rusty. “Hey. _Better or worse?_ ”  
  
The soft, apologetic smile he got in response made him feel like maybe he'd made the right choice after all.

* * *

Herc had welcomed him back with mostly open arms, all things considered, and it felt like he was the only one truly happy to see Raleigh get back on the mechanical horse. It was nice to see a familiar face, aside from Sasha and Aleksis. They had looked as strong and intimidating as they had the first time they'd been introduced and it was good to see a Mark 1 still in commission. To see the massive structure be wheeled in, prepared to go to war and win. It helped boost his personal morale some, if he's to be honest.  
  
Being invited to sit with Herc and his son, Chuck, as the Marshal had called him, was unexpected but not unwanted. Though, once Raleigh sat down with the tray Herc offered and noticed that Chuck had turned as if to reach for something that he found out wasn't there, well…  
  
He got the feeling that he was holding and eating off of Chuck's tray. Which felt further proved when Chuck gave Herc a hard look before reaching for one of the condiments left on the table. Herc, however, said nothing on the matter as Chuck kept his dog on his lap and fed him scraps from the table.  
  
Raleigh was tempted to hand the tray over but Chuck's scowl had him hesitate.  
  
Herc motioned toward Chuck with his spoon. “This is Chuck, my son. He's my copilot.”  
  
There was a muttered, “More like he's _my_ copilot,” that nearly got lost in the chaos of the cafeteria from Chuck's side of the table. Though when Raleigh looked over all he saw was Chuck scratching behind Max's ear. Looking nothing at all like the bitter interruption that caused Herc's face to pinch up.  
  
“So, Raleigh,” Herc turned his focus back to him and offered up a polite smile, “where have you been, mate? Took Stacker a long time to find you.”  
  
He didn't have it in him to go into details. About how he'd been recovering for a long few weeks after jockeying Gipsy alone. About all the medical, psychological and physical, exams he'd gone through before he snuck out, packed the essentials and left the Ice Box in the early morning. How Raleigh knew Stacker was going to show up at some point, after his sporadic sleeping pattern evened out, and tell him to get the fuck out of the Dome. How he'd deliberately disobeyed a direct order and not only that, but Raleigh was the reason Gipsy was torn to pieces and that Yancy was dead. All because he wanted to be a hero and save a fishing boat.  
  
Yancy's scream of terror haunted him the nights he tried to sleep. Knife Head's howl terrorized him during his walking hours. Neither were quiet. Ever. The only time was when he'd worked himself to the bone on the Wall.  
  
Raleigh chewed for a good full minute before summarizing it all up to, “Went where I was needed.”  
  
A clatter from across the table had both of them turn toward the source and Raleigh noted the twisted up face Chuck was making before he nudged the dog off his lap. The plate that once held a mound of mashed potatoes had been licked clean and lay abandoned as Chuck moved away from the table. He gave a low whistle alongside a, “C'mon, Max,” before he left the room with a strut that Raleigh immediately categorized as ‘annoyed arrogance.’ Whatever had gone on between Chuck and Herc earlier, he didn't want to know and was fairly certain he had nothing to do with Chuck's sudden departure.  
  
The ‘exasperated father’ look Herc was sporting though seemed to say otherwise as Herc ducked his head to focus on his tray. Raleigh knew, just from that look alone, that whatever just happened either had to do with the now rather than then. He'd seen it on Yancy's face plenty of times whenever he's done something he should've thought through before doing.  
  
Though he couldn't help but notice that between the two of them, Herc was the one that did most of the talking.

* * *

Raleigh thought over what Herc had said the second Chuck was out of earshot and eventually figured that, yes, he was the reason Chuck left the table. Not that his departure was rude, as he hadn't gotten in Raleigh's face about what he'd done while out of the PPDC. Nor did he spit insults or demean Raleigh needing to get away and try to keep his inner demons at bay. He hadn't said a word and Raleigh is still under the impression that he might have been hearing things with the whole who was who's copilot.  
  
He wouldn't be surprised if he was, to be honest.  
  
Though once he finally went through the trials at the kwoon, realized that both he and Mako were compatible, got into the con-pod together and Drifted, he almost believed he could do this again. Let someone else inside his head, trust them with the burden of losing Yancy. Losing everything. That maybe they could make this work.  
  
Then the RABBIT happened and the whole Shatterdome nearly ended up a pile of rubble, hunks of metal, guts and gore at the bottom of the Pacific. He felt sick just realizing what almost happened if Tendo had been any slower pulling the plug.  
  
If he thought Chuck was quiet before, perhaps even shy given the memories he's seen through the Drift, Raleigh was getting the rude awakening now. The door to the Marshal's office may as well be open at this point, what with Chuck's outrage making his voice raise the longer they spoke beyond the threshold. He was angry, livid even, and wanted to make it known that he didn't approve of the results one bit.  
  
The fact that it took being this angry to get Chuck to talk really shouldn't have surprised him. Nor should he have expected any less when Chuck flat out told Stacker that bringing Raleigh back was a mistake. Even if he amended the statement, just slightly, just enough, by adding on that they should've gone into a simulator instead of straight into the con-pod.  
  
Raleigh was a little sore over that alone because he knew Chuck was right. Even if Herc and Stacker were trying to get their voices heard as well. Barely heard whispers compared to Chuck's shouting.  
  
It wasn't the first time Raleigh's screwed up but this is definitely the top contender for ‘Worst Screw Ups.’ Mako didn't deserve to be here, to overhear any of this conversation, because she's not the one who threw them into a RABBIT. Granted that Raleigh managed to pull himself back, Mako didn't know how and had only delved further into the memory. Like she was reliving her worst nightmare all over again. Only to have it end when Stacker -  
  
The door opened and Chuck stormed down the steps, agitation and hostility clear in his movements. He turned to look at Herc long enough for him to tell Chuck to stay right where he was before he shut the door. Obviously trying to get a proper discussion of punishments and preventative actions underway without Chuck spitting angry.  
  
Raleigh could feel more than see Mako shift as if preparing for something that he didn't know was coming. She stiffened her shoulders, hands clasped tight behind her back and Mako kept her eyes on the door. Never once looking away, like she was trying to keep whatever it was from happening. Raleigh, however, glanced over at Chuck as he paced in front of the office.  
  
It didn't look like his anger had diminished. If anything, it was still boiling and the metaphorical pot of water was going to spill over soon. Real soon if the clench of Chuck's jaw said anything.  
  
He should've known better than to keep staring once Chuck caught sight of him and Chuck moved toward him with purpose. The fire in his eyes igniting once more and roaring, kindled to simply by knowing he now had someone else to yell at.  
  
Raleigh tensed, digging his nails into his wrist to keep his knee-jerk reaction in check. A fight wasn't going to break out. Chuck wasn't stupid enough to start something. Not when they only had three functional Jaegers and pilots to defend Hong Kong with. Not with Gipsy still on standby.  
  
A fight was not going to solve anything.  
  
“You two are a Goddamn disgrace!” Chuck flexed his jaw as he squared his shoulders. “Here's the thing, I want to come back from this mission alive. ‘cause I rather like my life. So why don't you…” He flicked Raleigh's chest, as if making it absolutely clear he was the one Chuck was talking to. “Just disappear? Since it's the only thing you're good at.”  
  
Mako whipped her head toward Chuck and took a step forward. “Stop. Now.”  
  
The only thing that kept her from becoming a physical barrier between them was Raleigh holding his arm out. He knew Chuck had to have something to say about his disappearance. It was obvious from the moment they'd officially met but Raleigh had been too worn out at the time to really think about it. Not until now, not until everything had gone down shit creek.  
  
“That's right. Chuck sneered. “Hold back your little girlfriend.” He took a step back and turned to leave the corridor. Disregarding Herc's demand that he stay until he was done talking to the Marshal.  
  
On the bright side, a fight hadn't broken out and Mako seemed to relax once Chuck was out of sight.  
  
On the other hand, both of them were grounded and Raleigh couldn't manage to appease to Stacker's paternal instincts concerning Mako. Couldn't even get around to asking him to give her a second chance. Instead, Raleigh was forced to fall back in line, yet again, and be the good little soldier the PPDC trained him to be.  
  
“Yes, sir.”

* * *

“I'm sorry.” Raleigh propped his elbows onto the railing as he regarded Mako. “First Drifts are rough. I should have told you.” He flexed his hands, curling and uncurling his fingers. Restless and residual annoyance singing through his veins.  
  
Chuck's words from the day prior and the stares from the mess hall did nothing to quell the unease in his stomach. He had managed to fall asleep, a small feat in of itself after the chronic nightmares, but Raleigh couldn't find any solace in it. Even if he'd been spared from the nights of losing Yancy in horrific ways, he had been treated to bits and pieces of Mako's childhood. Given a more in depth view of how the loss hurt her and why it lead to her being who she is now.  
  
The loss, pain, heartbreak and struggle practically pulled him under and Raleigh jerked awake with a wheeze. He could feel Mako's distress through the Ghost Drift first thing in the morning and it slowly fell way to her fierce determination. She couldn't be rattled to the point she couldn't function and Raleigh knew that response well enough.  
  
Whatever helped pilots carry on was their business.  
  
“It's fine.” Mako worked her jaw for a moment before she cocked her head. Her eyes were on Gipsy but Raleigh knew that she was also watching him out of her peripheral. “I'm glad that you didn't get into a fight yesterday. Chuck is...a lot to handle when he gets angry.”  
  
“You and me both.” Raleigh sighed and slumped his shoulders as he turned his attention to the welding and sparks ahead of him. “It's weird. Is he…” He trailed off and furrowed his brow, tapping the rail absentmindedly. “He's quiet. I mean, I thought he was quiet but that sure proved me wrong. Come to think of it, that's the first time he actually talked to me. Usually Herc is the one that's talking for both of them if Chuck's there.”  
  
“If that's the case, you got the longest conversation out of him. Even if he was yelling at both of us.”  
  
“What's up with that?” He turned to face her, dropping one of his arms from the rail and waved his hand. “Does he have some kind of injury that prevents him from saying a lot or is it a ‘do not open’ type deal?”  
  
Mako pursed her lips before she shook her head. “Chuck is fine. He just chooses not to.” She rose her hand and motioned toward Gipsy. “You could ask him about a Jaeger or Max and he can talk until he's blue in the face. Ask him how he's doing or anything that is considered ‘small talk,’ you won't get much.”  
  
“Huh.”  
  
“Both he and his father can Drift and fight so no one really questions it.”


End file.
